Fit to a "T"

I just wanna be a sheep baa baa baa...

2010-10-07T09:28:00.000-04:00

So this bible study is completely derailing me. as Jen Hatmaker put it I am.. well.. "wrecked" I am trying my best to figure where to go, what to do, where to help but my mind is all a mess! This weeks topic of the "least" really hit me in the gut, and this is why:

I remember as a kid singing the song with my "Wee Sing Bible Songs" tape and book, the song. "I just wanna be a sheep." it goes something like this

I just wanna be a sheep, Baa, baa, baa, baa

I pray the Lord my soul to keep

I just wanna be a sheep, Baa, baa, baa, baa

Don't wanna be a goat…nope

Haven't got any hope…nope

Don't wanna be a goat…nope

Don't wanna be a hypocrite

'Cause they're not hip to it

Don't wanna be a hypocrite

Don't wanna be a Pharisee

'Cause they're not fair you see

Don't wanna be a Pharisee

Don't wanna be a Sadducee

'Cause they're so sad you see

Don't wanna be a Sadducee

Just wanna be a child of God

Walkin' the same path He trod

Just wanna be a child of God

So I must have sang this song hundreds of times growing up and always thought; " Man this is a funny song about farm animals, but why is it talking about Pharisee's and Sadducee's.?" Well I am pretty sure that the song stems from the the Parable in Matthew 25:31-46. I have always avoided this scripture. Dealing with judgement was never something that I really liked to do. but this week I really studied and read and thought about it and I don't think, like in the bible study that it has anything to do with "sinners and saints" or the "righteous and non-righteous" this has to do with the righteous and the well "righteous"

I also always thought that the Pharisee's and the Sadducee's were all just a bunch of heathens, or another word for the sinners in the Bible. Again, I was mislead. The were the top religious people of their time. They were the sanctified, the church goers, the ones that people flocked to for help, counseling, they knew the scripture, they knew all the religious traditions. So when Jesus came on the scene and challenged their way of thinking that is why they were always so upset. So now that I am older, I am thinking I don't want to be someone who is so wrapped up in religious tradition that I can't see Jesus for who he really is or I can't see what his true mission was.

Back to the sheep and the goats. SO I always thought this was FINAL judgement separating the saints from the sinners. The right from the wrong, but then after really reading studying and some help from this bible study I realized he wasn't referring to just the saints and the sinners, I am pretty confident he was separating the saints from the "saints." Parable of the Sheep and Goats

So I am not thinking how do I become a sheep and stay a sheep? what can I do for the least of these? How do I see Jesus' face in the least?

"when you have done these things to the least of these, you have done them unto me."

What have I done unto you God? I worked at a homeless shelter once when I was a teenager, serving a meal. even at that age I recognized them as less than people, hopeless cases. I had always been taught I was better then they were. They got themselves into the mess that they are in. I donated some clothes. I worked at a women's shelter doing scrapbooking. Why? To free my guilty conscience? Probably.

So how do I move forward? How in the world do I become a sheep?

Come and Dine the Master's Calling... Who?

2010-09-28T20:49:00.001-04:00

When I was a teenager I frequented a certain church (probably because I was smitten by a boy) anyways the song leader frequently (and I mean every service) sang "Come and Dine" and of course being fifteen every song book song is funny but it wasn't until this week I thoroughly understood how bad the song really was... I searched for the lyrics and well have a whole new outlook after bible study...

"Jesus has a table spread
Where the saints of God are fed,
He invites His chosen people, “Come and dine”"

That was as far as I needed to go. Really? He invited is chosen people come and dine? Jesus dined with everyone. The low, the hated, the sinner, not just his followers. I am sure that whomever wrote this song had good intentions, we can blame the era I guess, it was written in 1907. Anyways The more I thought about it the more intrigued I became. Am I only feasting with "his chosen people?" "who would God want me to be feasting with?" " what does he mean by feast?" "Why is Jesus always eating?" "Why am I all of a sudden hungry?"

I don't know how to answer all these questions but this weeks study helped me see some of the things Jesus was talking about.

When Jesus spoke, everyone listened, and I am sure most left confused. I know that I do sometimes. In John 6 the scripture reads

John 6:48-60 (New King James Version)
⁴⁸ I am the bread of life. ⁴⁹ Your fathers ate the manna in the wilderness, and are dead. ⁵⁰ This is the bread which comes down from heaven, that one may eat of it and not die. ⁵¹ I am the living bread which came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever; and the bread that I shall give is My flesh, which I shall give for the life of the world.”
⁵² The Jews therefore quarreled among themselves, saying, “How can this Man give us His flesh to eat?”
⁵³ Then Jesus said to them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in you. ⁵⁴ Whoever eats My flesh and drinks My blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. ⁵⁵ For My flesh is food indeed,^[a] and My blood is drink indeed. ⁵⁶ He who eats My flesh and drinks My blood abides in Me, and I in him. ⁵⁷ As the living Father sent Me, and I live because of the Father, so he who feeds on Me will live because of Me. ⁵⁸ This is the bread which came down from heaven—not as your fathers ate the manna, and are dead. He who eats this bread will live forever.”
⁵⁹ These things He said in the synagogue as He taught in Capernaum.
Many Disciples Turn Away
⁶⁰ Therefore many of His disciples, when they heard this, said, “This is a hard saying; who can understand it?”

The disciples I think were right. I don't understand it and I don't think that anyone did and I doubt anyone really does now. After the study lead me to read about the 'Last Supper' I became even more confused, or convicted... I think I will go with confused to save face:) In 1 Corinthians 11 the scripture says

3 For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you: that the Lord Jesus on the same night in which He was betrayed took bread; ²⁴ and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, “Take, eat;^[b] this is My body which is broken^[c] for you; do this in remembrance of Me.”

Well I thought, I have this down we do this a few times a year. This is my Communion ritual:

Take the nasty tasting bread, Remember the crucifixion, eat the nasty tasting bread.

but as Ms. Hatmaker so eloquently pointed out "Do" is present tense. So what does that mean? Continuous action. Not literally eating the nasty tasting bread all the time but doing like Jesus did. Here is an excerpt from the book that will lead into tomorrow.

"Not only does Jesus' statement require a constant response, but "remembrance" is from the Greek anamnesis meaning "to make real". Communion is more than a memory, more than a reverent moment when we recall Jesus' heroic sacrifice. Remembrance means honoring Jesus' mercy mission with tangible, physical sacrifice. In other words " Constantly make this real." -Jen Hatmaker, Author, "Interrupted"

So what does this all mean? What stuck out the most was "Remembrance means honoring Jesus' mercy mission with tangible, physical sacrifice." Am I doing that? No. Jesus was broken so that myself and everyone else could have life. What can I do to honor Jesus mercy mission?

Sometimes I just buy shoes

2010-09-23T17:55:00.016-04:00

Last Wednesday night we started our new small groups at church. We are doing "Interrupted" by Jen Hatmaker. I have decided to let you in my mind, and heart for the next few weeks..

To Interrupt : to stop or hinder by breaking in; to break the uniformity or continuity of

Here is a quick video overview of the study then you can read some more about how my week one went.

Interrupted from Threads on Vimeo.

After seeing the video, you may understand why my week one went as follows :

Thursday: Book still in the car

Friday: Remembered the book was in the car, left it.

Saturday: and Sunday: Too busy to think about the book

Monday: Took the book out of the car, put it on the table. I was a little scared of the book.

Tuesday: The book was taunting me, we did a dance. I walked away. The book was a much better dancer.

Wednesday: I opened it. closed it. Started watching TV, then opened it. Started trying to multi-task by watching TV and reading. Suddenly my third time watching this episode of "Gilmore Girls" didn't seem that important.

Week 1 in a very large nutshell...

This is how I felt after the first week, well Wednesday. The focus was on the poor. There are so many places in the Bible where God is screaming at us to help the poor, I always thought that it was metaphorically, not literally. I always thought, sure I can help some poor soul spiritually. I never would have thought that God literally meant to go feed the poor.

In John 12:15-17 he asks Peter if he loves him three times. I just figured that God asked him three times because Peter denied him three times. you are able to see in the scripture that Peter is clearly frustrated.

"15When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?"
"Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."
16Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?"
He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."
17 The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?"
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."Jesus said, "Feed my sheep.

I never would have thought that Jesus was really saying" Yes! feed my sheep! feed the poor! Are you crazy what are you doing????"

They list in the book some scary statistics, here they are so you can get a feel:

*Of the six billion people on planet E arth, about 1.2 billion live
on 23 cents a day.
* Half the world lives on less than $2 a day.
* T he wealthiest one billion people average $70 a day. (This
places you and me in the upper, upper, upper percentages of
the global population.)
• I f you make $35,000 annually, you are in the top four percent.
• I f you make $50,000 annually, top one percent.
* S omeone dies of hunger every 16 seconds.
* T wenty-two million people died of preventable diseases last
year; 10 million were children.5
* T wenty-seven million children and adults are trapped in slavery
because of economic crisis (sex slaves, labor slaves, child
soldiers, and child slaves). More slaves exist today than ever
before in human history.6
* More than 143 million children in the world have been
orphaned or abandoned (equivalent to more than half the
population of the U .S.).
* In the last hour:
• More than 1,600 children were forced to the streets by the
death or abuse of an adult.
• At least 115 children became prostitutes.
• More than 66 children younger than 15 years of age were
infected with HIV.7
* Roughly one billion people in the world do not have suitable
housing, and 100 million are entirely homeless.

If you think those are scary, here are some more... * Forty percent of the world lacks basic water sanitation, resulting
in disease, death, wastewater for drinking, and loss of immunity;
Americans spent $16 billion on bottled water in 2008.
* We spend more annually on trash bags than nearly half the
world spends on all goods combined.
* Four out of five children worldwide work every day instead
of going to school; four out of five Americans are high school
graduates.
* Eight percent of the rest of the world owns a car; one-third of all
American families own three cars.
* Roughly 40 million people (about seven Jewish Holocausts) die
annually from starvation, disease, and malnutrition; 65 percent
of U .S. adults and 15 percent of children and adolescents are
overweight or obese.
* The U .S. makes up five percent of the global population, but we
consume 25 percent of the world’s oil, 20 million barrels of oil a
day; next is China at just 6.9 million a day.
* When a group of leaders from developing nations begged U .S.
government leaders to explore intervention options for their
countries in crisis, a U .S. official was quoted as saying: “The
American lifestyle is not up for negotiation.”

How does that make you feel? Did you get defensive? I did a little. I will also tell you that I felt like I had just been hit in the face by a solid wood Louisville Slugger. Why did I feel that way. Its hard to explain but basically came down to this, If everyone thought the way that I did, there would be no one to help those in need. I don't usually think about others as much as myself. I even reviewed my prayers and they are usually me praying for more blessings, and truthfully I am SO blessed sometimes I don't know what to do with all my blessings, sometimes I just buy shoes, because I don't know what else to do.
So where do I go from here? How do I help the poor? How do I move on? How do I stop being so hungry even though I feel like I am doing all the right things. I want to get out of this perpetual thirst for more.

There is definitely more to come. Hopefully tomorrow.

2009-06-05T13:55:00.001-04:00

So I am attempting to post via cell phone. Lets see how this works.

Almost Spring!!

2009-03-16T18:23:00.002-04:00

It was so nice yesterday! Here are some Pictures of Tay and her very good friend Lilly! We went to the park and just enjoyed the weather outside!

Tailynn and Phineas

Tailynn, Lilly, and Phineas

The newest addition to our family!

2009-02-24T15:41:00.003-05:00

This is our newest addition to our house our adorable little Phineas. but you can call him Phin! He is definitely one of the coolest presents EVER!!!

BAHAMAS! 2009

2009-02-24T15:12:00.004-05:00

Here are some picture of our trip to the Bahamas!

it was a BLAST!!! we had a great time! it was nice to

have a vacation for the both us to just bond and celebrate our lives and marriage

of Six years!

This was in Nassau

Me on the boat

Us on the one warm day we had

Beach in Port Lucaya

"Heal my heart and make it clean...

2009-01-15T07:59:00.002-05:00

So yesterday I was on my way to school after work, pretty much all the way home complaining about the traffic, I had to stop and get gas, I had to go to school, my car wasn't warm.... and so on, you get the idea, so I am driving down 116th street and I see a woman walking with a little girl, the little girl looked like she was about three years old, well yesterday it was about 3 degrees give or take, and I thought to my self, "what and idiot" then something broke in me, and the piece of a song by hillsong united came to my mind...

" Heal my heart and make it clean Open up my
eyes to the things unseen Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart from what breaks yours Everything I am for your kingdoms
cause As I go from nothing to Eternity

I started tearing up, and thinking, I need to go help that girl. I was on my way to turn in and see if she wanted a ride and I saw a police officer running after her. So she was taken care of. The more I thought about it though I kept hearing the piece of that song in my head... and I thought oh yes God's heart must be broken by things like that, and then something said, "not her, you." and I was thinking to myself, Me God? I have everything I need, I am not unfortunate, I have a car to drive... and then it hit me. That could have been me. I could be walking around, a young mom, with no car and my little girl out in this cold. I then immediately start crying, and asking God's forgiveness. I understand that the situations people put themselves in does in some manner break God's heart, but I don't think that that is what this means. I think that what breaks God's heart is the un-thankfulness of someone who has everything and more than they need, yet is never satisfied. The part of that song said "Everything I am for your Kingdom's cause." then I think, is that really true in me? is everything I do, and everything I am for your kingdom? or is it for my own gain? I have prayed that prayer so many times" Lord, break my heart for what breaks yours, I want to know what breaks your heart." and it took me seeing a little girl out in the freezing cold, to realize. its me. not necessarily me in particular, but my attitude. And it goes back also to what Sis. Ball said on Sunday about not having priorities right.... I just wanted to share,

My SUPER awesome Christmas Present!

2008-12-24T10:36:00.003-05:00

SO! Thomas totally outdid himself this year for Christmas! He bought me a cruise! I am so excited! it is going to be so much fun! we are going to first week in February! YAY

Wow it has been a while since I have posted!

2008-12-16T21:39:00.003-05:00

Wow I totally did not realized that it has been over a month since I have written in my blog! We gave Tailynn one of her Christmas presents early last Saturday we took her to Disney on Ice, She was SUPER excited! Here are a couple pictures...

Wasn't really Thomas' cup of tea but he endured it for Tay =)

Well not too much else going on I turned down the internship that I had gotten at Customs and Border Protection... decided to stay at the VA, I have been working like 45 hours a week which is NUTS, but I love it. I am finally getting excited about Christmas, although I still need to do some more shopping... I will try and add some more Christmas pictures later on. I am done with school until January, and I passed my accounting 1 class. I am definately excited about having some days off around Christmas, I am totally ready for it...

The Funniest video

2008-11-06T19:20:00.001-05:00

I am not sure how to watch download this directly to my blog but here is the link to this hilarious video...

Funny Obama Video

Halloween Festivities

2008-11-01T18:53:00.009-04:00

Here is Tailynn and her friends Lily and Audrey...

Tailynn and Lily
Ava as Curious George
.

Here is Luke, he is super cute!

Go Colts!

2008-10-12T22:38:00.006-04:00

So today Thomas and I got to go to the Colts- Ravens game! It was so much fun... every time Thomas and I go to a game they usually end up losing so it was very exciting that they actually won! we had a blast... I took so many pictures! but here are just a few I though were kind of good!

Lucas Oil Stadium

Picture from the large window at Lucas Oil

Thomas and I

A little Action woowoo!!

At The End when they won

Thomas' Super Awesome Birthday Present

2008-09-09T21:40:00.003-04:00

So I don't usually like to give presents early be it Birthday, Christmas, Anniversary or whatever but this year I took Thomas to pick out his present. He has always wanted to learn an instrument so I said that I would get him a guitar for his birthday so I took him to Sam Ash and let him pick out the one he wanted...

Chancho was getting in the mix.

Of course its blue...

He has been practicing every day pretty soon he'll be a pro =)

One Way. Jesus. You're the only one that I could live for!

2008-08-27T22:31:00.007-04:00

So last night I went with some girlfriends to the Hillsong United concert.. it was AMAZING!! It was so great seeing all those people there just to praise God! almost 4000 people! It was so great, I can't wait till they come back... or I will have to travel to see them, they have such a relationship with God. its so awesome that the lyrics they write and the songs they sing show that they are completely sold out to Christ... Here are some pictures from the concert...

Here's Carrie and I

Lisa and I

HILLSONG!

Joel Houston

I thought that this was a super cool picture...

2008-08-26T08:39:00.002-04:00

So I am totally excited! I am going with some friends to see Hillsong United tonight! its going to be super great! I will post some pictures from the concert later!

Sunday night at church a wonderful message was taught about embracing your ministry and going out and doing what God wants regardless or what he asks. And God knows that we trust him, but God wants to know if he can trust us, to do his will and to be completely immersed in the ministry he wants us to be... sometimes it will be very hard, and we won't understand what God wants us to do. but the words to this song I am going to post I want to completely be my prayer. I would totally go to the ends of the earth if God asked me to...

Love unfailing
Overtaking my heart
You take me in
Finding peace again
Fear is lost in all you are

And I would give the world to tell you're story '
Cause I know that you've called me I know that you've called me
I've lost myself for good within your promise
And I won't hide it I won't hide it

Jesus, I believe in You
And I would go, to the ends of the earth
To the ends of the earth
For you alone are the son of God
And all the world will see
That You are God
You are God

(Hillsong)

The First Day of School

2008-08-16T07:34:00.003-04:00

Well... Tay's official first day of kindergarten was Thursday and she was so excited! I was very excited for her! She is attending afternoon kindergarten and seems to really like it so far. She says she really likes her teacher and she has lots of fun! here are some of her first day pictures.

The State Fair

2008-08-15T22:50:00.008-04:00

Well we went to the fair on Wednesday, which was also Tailynn's first day of school, but we only had to take her to school for about 45 minutes. she seemed to like it very much. We had a great time at the fair too! We saw some animals and they had a small circus. they also had a play area where you could be a farmer for a day which was really neat ... we also had a run in with a cow that splattered some manure on Tailynn's leg so that was interesting. Overall besides of course Tay having a meltdown before we left, which is not a huge surprise, it was a really great day!

TOO Busy of a Weekend

2008-08-11T13:22:00.004-04:00

SO we had the absolute busiest weekend I think a family could have. Saturday was filled with party after party... and of course one more party! One of our really good friend's child was turning one so his party was first, and while Thomas and Tay were at that party I had to leave to go to a bridal shower... so that was fun! later on that evening around 7 we went to Thomas' sisters birthday, that was lots of fun... she has a super cute puppy that seems to live for pestering Tailynn! Sunday was equally as busy... we had a Denton family reunion in Francesville, IN... it was a very scenic two hours away, but it was nice to see other family members that we don't get to see very often. I had to again leave Thomas and Tay and rush back to go somewhere with a friend, and that was fun too... now I am just glad that the weekend is over and maybe we can get some rest... but I doubt it! Thomas' grandpa is in town this week so that is very exciting we don't get to see him very often so we are exctied about getting to show off our house... if we ever get it clean that is...

We have started the countdown to kindergarten, two more days... Tailynn is very excited, I don't know if I am more excited or scared or sad... I am sure I will figure it out...

Here are some pictures from Nikki's 21st Birthday!

The Blog World

2008-08-08T09:47:00.003-04:00

So I am completely new to the blog world but alot of people I know have these things so I thought that I would try this out. So we will see if I actually keep this thing up to date! There isn't too terribly much going on in our lives these days, except Tay is getting ready to start Kindergarten this wednesday! YIKES!! I am starting to feel really old... anyways I will post more later